"My husband's home country has a complicated cultural relationship with alcohol, and there is a shockingly low life expectancy for men in particular because of alcoholism. I grew up with wine at the family table, and it was legal for older teens and acceptable for younger teens when supervised. As an adult, I drink moderately, and that's roughly the model we want for our kids. My husband's upbringing was very different: Although beer was technically off-limits for children, it was always available, with hard alcohol following soon after. Since moving abroad, he has almost completely stopped drinking and now only has the occasional beer."
"He considers a few cousins and a brother to be alcoholics, though he would describe his parents and much of his extended family as very heavy drinkers. Many of his uncles and his grandfather died before age 64 from alcohol-related causes. He has also lost a sister and multiple childhood friends for the same reason. To me, that does not feel normal."
Parents of two children ages 10 and 12 are preparing to visit the father's family, where heavy drinking and widespread alcoholism have caused early deaths and losses. The mother models moderate, supervised drinking and finds the father's family norms alarming. The father has reduced his drinking but fears relatives may offer alcohol to their older child. Parents need to set explicit household rules forbidding alcohol for their children, practice refusal language, explain health and legal risks, arrange adult supervision and contingency plans, and decide consequences and removal strategies if boundaries are challenged.
Read at Slate Magazine
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