"Brad has paid child support since it was established that Jamie is his son, but has not been involved in Jamie's life. He is unsure what to do here, as he has never even met him. I hate myself for thinking this way, but I honestly don't want Jamie here to be a permanent reminder of Brad's infidelity. Would it be wrong to refuse to take him?"
"I get it. I think there are plenty of people who have experienced infidelity in their marriage who wouldn't want to be reminded of it. But let's set aside your discomfort for a minute here and let me ask you this: Imagine your 2-year-old being in a similar scenario as Jamie. Would you want someone to take in your child and love them as if they were their own?"
"No, I don't think you're wicked, but you are a human, and I believe some part of you wishes that you could be OK with this. Keep tabs on how your husband feels, too, and come to a decision that you can both live with. You have the opportunity here to be a mother to Jamie. He needs one, and there is no reason it couldn't be you. Maybe all it needs is some time."
A husband's affair produced a son, Jamie, and the couple repaired their marriage and now have a two-year-old. Jamie's mother died by suicide and an aunt asked the couple to raise him because she cannot. The husband has paid child support but has not been involved or met Jamie and feels uncertain about taking him in. The wife feels conflicted and fears Jamie would be a permanent reminder of the affair. The advice recommends considering the child's needs, imagining how one would want a similar beneficiary treated, discussing feelings with the husband, and allowing time to adjust.
Read at Slate Magazine
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