My Ex-Husband Called My Son Fat. Why Did Nothing I Say Stop Him?

An 8-year-old initially experiences his body as a source of strength and play, with legs, arms, hands, feet, and an open face tied to adventures. During a weekend visit, his father forces him to think about how his body looks and gives him the nickname “Chubs,” opening a door to body awareness that never closes. The child returns changed, walking differently and appearing older in just two days. His parent notices his mood through posture, silence, and reduced appetite. Normal routines like storytelling and joyful eating fade, and the child becomes withdrawn, turning from confident expression into uncertainty.

"My son was 8 years old when his father first forced him to think about the way his body looked. Until that day, I think he thought of his body as a propeller. The thing that moved him from one adventure to another. He had strong legs to push him higher on the swings or pedal his bike as he rode around the neighborhood in his Superman pajamas and cowboy boots on Saturday mornings. He had strong arms that caught footballs his older brothers threw him or bounced basketballs in our backyard."

"He was different right away when he came home from seeing his dad. I saw his face and my hackles went up. I could feel something was off. He walked differently, slumped over like he had aged several years in the 48 hours he had been away from me. I asked his dad if everything was okay and got a shrug like "How would I know?" As though he had no way of finding out about his child's mood. As though asking him if he was okay was beyond him. Or beneath him."

"At dinner that night, my son was a quiet center in the middle of the usual boisterous storm of voices and passing plates and stories being shared. Not angling for his turn to tell stories like he normally would. Not eating joyfully - up until that point he had been a happy eater - as he normally would. He loved to write the night's menu on a little Ratatouille chalkboard we had on our fridge for me, adding his own restaurant-speak to meals with descriptions like "World's best spaghetti and meatballs" or "Build your own sundae on Friday!""

"Until his father gave him the nickname "Chubs" during a weekend visit and suddenly opened a door to my son's body I never really was able to get closed again."

Read at Scary Mommy