My Ex Has a Specific Complaint About My Fiance and How He is Talks to Our Boys. Am I Too Smitten to See It?
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My Ex Has a Specific Complaint About My Fiance and How He is Talks to Our Boys. Am I Too Smitten to See It?
"Tom insists that Cyrus is a "toxic male influence" on the boys. I can't tell if this is as big an issue as he claims, and I don't know what's right. Cyrus and I have been together for three years. He's loving but more conventional. We share the same core values and votes. He's kind and generous: he'll stop for a stranger with a flat on the freeway, he'll break up a homophobic incident in a bar."
"But he's blue-collar and less PC, and he puts himself and our family first if needed. He also values a lot of "stereotypical" masculine traits: strength, leadership, financial support. He loves my boys, they love him. And he's endlessly patient as they learn new things. He encourages them to do outdoor stuff with him, participate in sports, and get good grades to "become men.""
A woman divorced her first husband Tom five years ago after conflicts over priorities, child safety, and financial compromises. Tom, a self-described feminist who often put others first, now has weekend custody of their sons, ages 13 and 15. Tom labels the woman's fiancé Cyrus a "toxic male influence." Cyrus, the woman's partner for three years, is loving, conventional, and blue-collar; he prioritizes family, models strength and leadership, and encourages outdoor activities, sports, and academic achievement to "become men." The woman is unsure whether Tom's concerns are justified and seeks guidance on balancing differing values, male role models, and co-parenting tensions.
Read at Slate Magazine
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