"It's been a theme in letters I've seen this year-adults complaining that children aren't processing the difficult things they go through in the way the adults want them to. 15 is a really hard age for a lot of kids, let alone for those who've seen two fathers exit their lives (to varying degrees). He's processing a ton of changes in his own life, possibly entering high school, and he shouldn't feel responsible for the feelings of his ex-step-grandparents."
"Stay in light touch: birthdays, Christmases, graduation. Just be good grown-ups in his life, even if at a distance. That nurtures a kid, even if they don't show it or notice. Just today, my sister and I were talking about her running into a (now) old woman from the church we grew up in. She'd seemed like such a tyrant when we were kids."
Children's emotions and feelings should be addressed first after parental separations, with priority given to their developmental needs. Fifteen-year-olds often struggle and may not process loss or complex family dynamics in ways adults expect. Teens may withdraw while coping with multiple changes such as entering high school. Adults should remain present in light touch—birthdays, holidays, graduations—to provide stability and nurture despite lack of visible gratitude. Long-term gentle presence can enrich a young person's life even if recognition comes later. Adults should avoid staying in relationships that demand more than they can give.
Read at Slate Magazine
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