"The instinct to stay close doesn't always come from a desire to micromanage. It often comes from fear. And that fear is quite reasonable. For any parent who experienced trauma or adversity, fear has been learned through experience. It lingers, reshaping the way we see the world, the way we interpret risk, and the way we parent. It doesn't just fade with reassurance or with someone trying to "logic" it away."
"If you have a trauma history, your nervous system stays on high alert. It learns to detect patterns, decode tone, and anticipate danger. You may not even realize how much you're scanning, until a teacher calls, or your child has a meltdown, or the news reports another school shooting. Your heart rate skyrockets before your brain even processes what you just heard."
Children of overprotective parents are less able to adjust to university stressors, experience more anxiety, and demonstrate less resilience. Parental overinvolvement often springs from parents' own trauma and learned fear rather than a desire to micromanage. Traumatized parents' nervous systems remain on high alert, scanning for danger, decoding tone, and anticipating threats. Everyday triggers—missed texts, school calls, a child's emotional withdrawal, news of violence—can provoke immediate physiological reactions. Contemporary realities like pandemics, cyberbullying, climate anxiety, and online scrutiny amplify parental unease. Persistent fear reshapes risk perception and parenting behavior and does not simply fade with reassurance or logical argument.
Read at Psychology Today
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