"One of the biggest adjustments newly minted single parents must make following a separation or divorce is adjusting to holidays without their children present, or present for only part of the time. Whether the kids are babies, teens, or young adults, the result can be an unfamiliar silence that can take some getting used to. As a family law attorney and divorced single mom (of four adult children) who remarried a divorced single dad of two more than a decade ago, my husband and I have walked (and are still walking) this road, just like you may be this holiday."
"What I mean is that if you anticipate the holidays are going to suck because you're not going to be with your kids or because you will have to split time with your ex, they will suck. If you walk into the situation with an edge, expecting a fight, you'll probably get one. And if you're planning to punish your ex because you're angry, it will probably backfire on you and, worse, on your kids, who will be caught in the middle."
Newly single parents often face unfamiliar silence when children are absent or present only part-time during holidays. Adjusting to solo holidays after separation or divorce requires proactive planning and emotional management. Mood and expectations shape how holidays unfold; anticipating negativity or seeking to punish an ex usually backfires and harms children. Control what can be controlled, primarily one’s own tone and attitude. Intentionally plan solo activities, create new family traditions suited to current life, and emphasize gratitude and meaningful aspects of celebrations. Thoughtful preparation and a positive approach can turn solo holidays into memorable, healing experiences for parents and children.
Read at Psychology Today
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