Compassionate Goals and Parenting

"When we're aiming toward compassionate goals in our interactions with someone, we're trying to be thoughtful and considerate in the interest of being good to that person and advancing their wellness. On the other hand, when we're going after self-image goals when we're engaging with another, we're zeroing in on how we seem to that person."

"Research reveals a link between feeling urged to be an unblemished parent and engaging in some parenting approaches that are less effective. Is there anything that could help parents shift focus away from being an ideal, flawless parent and toward another viewpoint that might be more sustainable and fulfilling over time?"

Parenting faces unrealistic societal expectations for perfection, creating pressure that paradoxically undermines effective parenting approaches. Research distinguishes between two goal types in parent-child interactions: compassionate goals prioritize the child's needs and wellbeing through thoughtful, considerate care, while self-image goals focus on how parents appear to others. A new study examined how these goal orientations relate to parental wellness and child behavior. Results show compassionate goals correlate with greater wellness for parents and improved behavior in children, suggesting that shifting focus from achieving an impossible standard of perfection toward genuine care and consideration offers a more sustainable and fulfilling parenting approach.

Read at Psychology Today