"Gift-giving is an extension of a relationship and an expression of feeling. Thank you is not a phrase that has passed out of the lexicon. But we don't give to receive thanks. However, if you're feeling the relationship is one-sided, maybe it's time to change the mode of communication. That communication is key here. If you want to hear from the other grandchildren more, you can say so."
"My 37-year-old daughter, along with her 10-year-old son, live with my wife and me. My daughter shares custody with my grandson's father. My daughter is two years sober, which is great. She works most days in an outdoor profession but has many days off due to weather. When she's not working, she's sitting in her room on her phone and/or watching TV. She does not help my wife and me with any of the normal household chores. She always leaves a mess."
Seven teenage and young-adult grandchildren across two families frequently fail to acknowledge gifts; only one child per family offers thanks. Gift-giving is an extension of relationship and expression of feeling; no one is obligated to give gifts or to get thanks. If a relationship feels one-sided, change the mode of communication and ask for acknowledgment; stopping gifts is a personal prerogative and recipients bear any hurt feelings. Another household involves a 37-year-old daughter and her 10-year-old son living with parents; the daughter is two years sober. She works irregular outdoor hours, spends nonworking time on her phone or watching TV, contributes no household chores, leaves messes, and rarely pays promised rent, with eviction avoided primarily for the child.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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