Bah humbug: An NFL holiday story, featuring festive names from around the league

"Here's an idea: If Netflix or Prime want to add spice and seasoning to the menu, one of the streaming services should utilize its technical capabilities to create a fictional, holiday-themed football game. Artificial intelligence to the rescue! It would be called the Holiday Bowl. (Apologies to San Diegans. We hear you, Ron Burgundy.) Naturally, it would be played in Santa Claus, Indiana, home of former Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, who can serve as the grand marshal."

"The game would pit the Red Zone Reindeer against Gang Grinch, coached by Pete Carroll and former New York Jets safety Scott Frost (on loan from the University of Central Florida), respectively. It would have reporter Holly Rowe on the sideline and analyst Mike (Oh) Tannenbaum in the radio booth. There would be honorary captains -- Frostee Rucker for the Reindeer and Ebenezer Ekuban for Gang Grinch, a couple of former NFL defensive linemen."

"The league would make an exception for Demarcus Christmas, allowing him to play for the team of his choice even though he's a member of the CFL's Toronto Argonauts. Every Holiday Bowl needs a little Christmas, even though the 2019 Seattle Seahawks draft pick isn't so little -- 6-foot-4, 305 pounds. His contract would include a special clause that validates the transfer. How's this for a jingle-bell rocking quarterback matchup? Mason Rudolph versus Mike White. The late great Bart Starr would've enjoyed this one, especially on frozen tundra."

The NFL's Christmas Day schedule isn't steeped in drama: three games, only two playoff contenders and no Patrick Mahomes in prime time. A streaming service could add spice by using artificial intelligence to create a fictional, holiday-themed football game called the Holiday Bowl. The Holiday Bowl would be played in Santa Claus, Indiana, with Jay Cutler serving as grand marshal. The game would pit the Red Zone Reindeer against Gang Grinch, coached by Pete Carroll and Scott Frost, with Holly Rowe on the sideline and Mike Tannenbaum in the radio booth. Honorary captains would include Frostee Rucker and Ebenezer Ekuban, and the league would permit CFL player Demarcus Christmas to participate, while a marquee quarterback matchup could feature Mason Rudolph versus Mike White on a frozen tundra.

Read at ESPN.com