"If your love and caring have morphed into rescuing, loaning, and fixing for your adult child, you are far from alone. What starts out as helping turns into enabling. This perpetuates a cycle of dependency, strain/conflict, and resentment. Each week, through my coaching practice, I help many parents navigate the chaos of being in these stressful situations. When these parents reach out to me, they are feeling drained by endless demands and blurred boundaries."
"Boundaries fail when they're vague. This week, practice clear boundary phrases you can repeat when tested. Say, "I care about you and I can listen, but it is best for both of us if I do not try to solve this for you." Realize that consistency leads to healthier expectations and increased respect. For seven days, track how you are pulled into your adult child's struggles. Write down each request, each adult-child-manufactured crisis-like situation, and each moment you felt pressured to "rescue.""
Helping adult children can become enabling when love turns into rescuing, loaning, and fixing, creating dependency, conflict, and resentment. Financial rescues undermine both parents' and adult children's financial health and their sense of money's value. Setting clear, consistent, and loving boundaries guides rather than punishes, teaching responsibility and protecting wellbeing. A four-week plan begins by tracking requests and rescue moments for seven days to reveal energy and money leaks. The next phase focuses on practicing one or two loving refusal phrases to use consistently. Consistency fosters healthier expectations, increased respect, and better outcomes for both parties.
Read at Psychology Today
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