How to Break Free From a Past Identity

"The duality of the 'Me' and 'I' helps us understand how many of our feelings of self may be misrepresented by contaminating our present self with our historical self. When being 'Me', my view of self is based entirely on my experiential history. We assess ourselves on what we have done and what has happened to us. Conversely, according to James, the 'I' self-view is thought to incorporate our self-awareness of the here-and-now. We are no longer in a past reality but have transitioned to the present."

"Anorexia is an example of this possible misrepresentation. The anorexic person, when asked to identify their current body shape, will consistently say they are two or three body shapes larger than their current reality. When this happens, the anorexic person is seeing only the 'Me' or autobiographical self of being overweight. They appear to be unable to see the 'I' of their here-and-now awareness and true body shape."

"How do we get from this outdated version of who we were and get back to the person we are now? What is the reinforcement schedule that keeps us in the past? "Rational behavior requires theory. Reactive behavior requires only reflex action." - W. Edwards Deming. Automatic thoughts are preprogramed and become reflexive. These thoughts have been habitually reinforced over time. These thoughts are triggered by past experiences. They are not necessarily related to the present; however, we bring them into the present through habit."

The autobiographical 'Me' represents self-identity shaped by past experiences, while the 'I' reflects present-moment self-awareness. Overreliance on the 'Me' contaminates present perception and can misrepresent current reality, as seen in anorexia where perceived body shape aligns with past identity rather than current appearance. Automatic thoughts develop through habitual reinforcement of past experiences and operate reflexively, often unrelated to the current moment yet brought forward by habit. Reflective thinking and introspection are conscious, in-the-moment processes that support accurate present awareness. Identifying the reinforcement patterns that keep attention anchored in the past is necessary to restore present self-perception.

Read at Psychology Today