"We went to every window in our home, out onto our deck, and looked from our driveway; we tried three cameras on several settings, and attempted, unsuccessfully, to see this glorious sight for ourselves. We were disappointed. Later, as I (LR) scrolled through my social media feed, seeing beautiful image after beautiful image of ethereal neon colors in the sky, natural feelings of envy arose in me."
"And then I saw a post of someone sharing that their 92-year-old neighbor had seen the Northern Lights for the first time in her life! Something else arose for me quite spontaneously: sympathetic joy. As this sympathetic joy arose, this joy-in-another's-joy, I felt the constricting feelings of envy release and fade away as I imagined how joyful this stranger must have felt."
"This changed how I was able to experience those glorious pictures on social media. While envy still arose at times, I was able to shift more easily into a sense of sympathetic joy for the joy that people were sharing. Instead of feeling outside the experience or sorry for myself, I felt connected to the awe of nature and this shared experience that so many people were having."
Social comparison frequently produces envy or jealousy when people perceive others' experiences as preferable. Mudita, or appreciative and sympathetic joy, involves delighting in another person's happiness. An example experience: observing widespread images of the Northern Lights generated disappointment and envy, which shifted into sympathetic joy upon learning that a 92-year-old neighbor saw the lights for the first time. Sympathetic joy dissolved constricting envy and fostered connection to others and to awe. When stressed, sad, or isolated, comparative grooves deepen and intensify feelings of lack. Intentionally practicing appreciative joy can ease envy, increase connection, and enhance overall well-being.
Read at Psychology Today
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