"It's a beautiful teaching, to do with how the spiritual path is integral to relationships. Very often, our students here at the Zen Center ask me, "How is my spiritual practice going?" I say, "Tell me about your relationships with the people at the grocery store, and tell me what you know about them and what their names are." How are we engaged in our life?"
"I think that while formal spiritual community is super helpful, in terms of chosen family, the barometer is how we are cultivating and nourishing relationships. That was a very difficult thing for me early on. It has become the most important goal, to have a community where I'm known and I can know so that I can receive spiritual care and offer spiritual care equally."
The Upaddha Sutra states that having good friends constitutes the whole of the holy life. The spiritual path is deeply tied to ordinary relationships and daily engagement with others. Measuring practice through attention to everyday connections reveals how embedded practice is in living life. Formal spiritual community can be very helpful, yet chosen family and the cultivation of nourishing relationships serve as the true barometer. Personal histories of suffering can make belonging feel unsafe, which makes creating a community where one is both known and able to know a central goal for reciprocal spiritual care.
Read at Psychology Today
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