The Trauma of Having a Parent With Untreated Mental Illness

"Ava was only 13, but she could tell the second her dad stopped taking his medication. His lips twitched more. He made eye contact less. He developed an intense preoccupation with everything in the mail. When she saw these signs, she knew to run immediately to the medicine cabinet. She would count the pills and compare them to how many days had passed on the calendar. Ava had learned to take on more responsibility than a young child should have to."

"In the coming years, she started staying out late with friends, drinking alcohol and trying other substances to "let loose and have fun." She did not yet realize what she really wanted was to numb her pain. She began skipping school, her grades slipped, and she was quickly labeled as a bad student and troubled child. Thankfully, a school counselor recognized her behaviors had stemmed from childhood trauma and referred her to me for further support."

"When a caregiver has a severe or untreated mental illness, the home environment is also chaotic and confusing for the children who grow up in it. Parents will cycle through periods of wellness and instability, and their children will notice when they have their stable parent back: Dad can once again follow along with conversations, help with homework, and do things that other dads do."

When a caregiver has severe or untreated mental illness, the home becomes chaotic and confusing for children. Children experience cycles of parental stability and instability, leading to role reversal and increased responsibility. Children may monitor medications and take on caregiving tasks that exceed their developmental capacity. Adolescents often respond by engaging in risky behaviors, substance use, and school disengagement to numb emotional pain. Early recognition and referral by trusted adults, such as school counselors, can connect children with support. Providing treatment and support for parental mental illness reduces stigma, improves parental stability, and mitigates traumatic impacts on children.

Read at Psychology Today