The Safety of a Packed Calendar
Briefly

Driven women frequently use busyness as emotional armor that numbs difficult feelings. Packed calendars, constant task-switching, and urgent obligations serve as strategies to avoid loneliness, grief, inadequacy, anxiety, and lingering tensions. Filling empty time with meetings or obligations produces immediate relief and restores a sense of control while preventing quiet moments that would surface underlying emotions. Physical signs such as tension headaches, chest heaviness, and postponed medical appointments illustrate costs of this pattern. The strategy functions as an adaptive response, not a moral or personal failure. Sustained reliance on busyness increases stress, erodes well-being, and can obscure needs that require attention.
There she sits at her granite kitchen counter at 9:42 p.m., the blue glow of her phone casting harsh shadows across her exhausted face. The cold surface beneath her forearms contrasts sharply with the warmth of the mug of chamomile tea growing cold beside her-a failed attempt at winding down. Her color-coded calendar app glows up at her like a slot machine, each hour of busyness claimed by someone or something else.
And somewhere in the busyness and mental chaos, that nagging reminder about the doctor's appointment she keeps rescheduling-the one about the mole that's been bothering her for months. She rolls her shoulders against the familiar tension headache forming at the base of her skull. There's that heaviness in her chest again-the one that always surfaces during rare quiet moments like silt settling in still water. But instead of sitting with it, her thumb moves instinctively. She finds an empty half-hour on Thursday and quickly fills it with a conference call that could easily be an email.
Read at Psychology Today
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