"Have you ever tried to make sense of something t hat doesn't make sense and yet you keep trying because you think it will provide some tiny amount of relief, connecting all the dots, explaining the unexplainable, like that somehow will make the excruciating pain go away, knowing that nothing can ever take the pain away? It's sort of a crazy feedback loop,"
"It's sort of a crazy feedback loop, when you're stuck inside your own head and the walls are filled with pictures of him and wherever you look there he is looking back at you, and sometimes he's smiling and sometimes he's sad and sometimes he's angry and sometimes he's completely expressionless, but he's always looking you directly in the eye."
A father lost his 28-year-old son Rob to suicide nearly seven years earlier and continues to experience overwhelming grief. Friends check in and offer support, which generates gratitude but also emotional overload. When alone, the father repeatedly tries to make sense of the inexplicable, attempting to connect dots for relief yet finding none. Memories and photographs create an immersive feedback loop of the son's shifting expressions. The father intensely longs to hear the son's voice, imagines words and jokes, and ultimately confronts persistent silence that deepens the pain and isolation.
Read at Psychology Today
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