"The reality of a Looking Good Family is muted behind a veil of appropriate psychological decorum. They carry the deluded view that their aspiration of perfection has come true. Hyperbolic communication fills the airways. The goal is to emphasize and foster what is jovial, accomplished, and radiant. The family mandate is to remind each other and the world how wonderful they are. If it's classy and supports a stunning image, then it's fitting behavior for members of the Looking Good Family."
"Parents compensate. Parents are typically attempting to overshadow their shame by promoting idealized distortions of who they are and who family members should be. Authenticity is discouraged. There's pressure on family members to view themselves in whatever way contributes to the family's chosen image. Children are encouraged to suppress expressing their unique interests, ideas, and even what they love, if it doesn't align with the chosen public image."
Looking Good Families prioritize public image and present a polished façade while masking shame and imperfections. Parents often compensate by promoting idealized distortions of themselves and prescribing how family members should appear. Children receive pressure to suppress individuality, interests, and honest feelings that conflict with the curated image. Emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, and vulnerability become taboo, leading to depression, dissociation, and addiction as coping responses. Daily communication discourages conflict and honest talk about bodily or sexual experiences. Poor boundaries enforce conformity, shame, and policing among family members, undermining authenticity, personal autonomy, and psychological health.
Read at Psychology Today
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