Perfectionism Is a Poor Defense for Emotional Vulnerability

"At the heart of the perfectionist's personality-defining need to control is the fear of emotional vulnerability. The perfectionist employs various methods of evasion and dominance, believing they can outwit and conquer each of their weaknesses. Thus, they engage in self-sabotage while believing they're doing what's best for them. Perfectionists tend to deny, emphasizing their ability to manage the debris of negative emotions. They often minimize, disallowing the influence of surrounding tragedies."

"While these defenses help sustain a high degree of emotional equilibrium, they're used at a significant cost to the perfectionist's relationships, potential, emotional development, and overall well-being. In a cocoon of self-preservation, they overvalue what they know at the expense of what they don't. Perfectionists often enter treatment when depression and/or anxiety begin to feel unmanageable, when their strategies contribute to changes in sleep, appetite, ability to enjoy life, and ability to feel much of anything."

Perfectionists are preoccupied with control to submerge negative feelings and avoid emotional vulnerability. They use evasion, dominance, denial, minimization, and projection to manage perceived weaknesses and maintain emotional equilibrium. These defenses exact significant costs to relationships, potential, emotional development, and overall well-being. Perfectionists often overvalue familiar knowledge and undervalue unknown possibilities, especially within emotionally disconnected environments. Many seek treatment when depression or anxiety become unmanageable and when sleep, appetite, enjoyment, and the capacity to feel deteriorate. Experiencing unwanted feelings can broaden possibilities for connection, maturity, and alternative ways of being.

Read at Psychology Today