"I've never seen him look prouder than when he showed me the keys to his new place, and frankly, I don't know if I had ever felt so proud of him. It's funny how you can juggle so many different emotions at the same time, because I also remember feeling scared and concerned. How could he possibly afford this apartment and all the pricey things that went with it, like internet access and utilities?"
"It was one of those rickety old elevators where you have to slide a metal gate open and then close it before going anywhere, and as we slowly made our way up to the sixth floor, we were both a little amped up with anticipation. I really had no idea what to expect. The building was a historic landmark known as the St. Regis, located right on the oceanfront in downtown Long Beach."
The last visit occurred the day after the son killed himself. The first visit, a week after moving in, combined parental pride with deep concern about finances, utilities, commute, and whether the son would continue attending AA meetings. The building featured an art deco lobby and a rickety elevator with a sliding metal gate up to the sixth floor. The apartment offered a postcard-perfect oceanfront view from a large living room window in the historic St. Regis. The son furnished the place with a free Craigslist leather couch and a new bed with tasteful headboard and sheets, suggesting he felt settled and proud.
Read at Psychology Today
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