It's Time to Stop Arguing With Yourself

"I just turn it inwards: Is it me, is it my fault? I lie awake at night thinking, is it actually a problem with me here?"

"External invalidation, which comes from other people, can take many forms. The people invalidating you may say that you're too sensitive, dramatic, attention-seeking. You're misinterpreting, misunderstanding, reading in problems that don't exist. You're playing the race card, playing the gender card, making it all about your disability."

""I'm upset." But I shouldn't be upset. Yes, someone made a comment to me that I perceived as dismissive, but they probably didn't mean it that way. I'm being too sensitive."

Internalized invalidation, or self-gaslighting, occurs when repeated external dismissals are absorbed and applied to one’s own perceptions and feelings. External invalidation can take many forms, including being labeled too sensitive, dramatic, or accused of playing identity-based cards. The internal process often resembles arguing with oneself, minimizing upset feelings, and concluding that concerns are personal flaws rather than legitimate problems. This pattern produces self-doubt, rumination, and emotional silencing. Noticing the pattern, allowing feelings to be experienced without judgment or analysis, and seeking outside perspectives can help disrupt internalized invalidation and restore trust in one’s perception.

Read at Psychology Today