"The thing is, grief is perpetually evolving. We mostly picture those early, crippling, sobbing days and years, but when that terrible phase passes, we still face new challenges, one after another. Losing a spouse affects every corner of life. Surprisingly, I have only recently come to understand the extent to which I must rebuild my life and identity without Tom."
"I checked in a little late to this Zoom support group, which is specifically for people who have been grieving for a while. At that moment, a woman I like and respect, who lost her spouse about the same time I lost Tom, was talking about her struggle to feel joy. She identified herself as a "do-er"-she has not let grief slow her down, and she stays busy-but finds that she never feels the level of joy she did when her wife was alive."
Grief remains perpetually evolving long after the early, crippling phase, and later stages bring fresh challenges that touch every corner of life. Losing a spouse requires rebuilding daily routines, relationships, identity, and a sense of self. Support groups can continue to provide new, helpful perspectives even years after the loss. Some people remain busy and productive yet struggle to feel the same levels of joy they felt before the loss. A comfortable life, loving pets, friends, and satisfying work do not automatically restore former happiness. The pull to the past can interfere with present joy and prompt questions about why joy is elusive.
Read at Psychology Today
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