"Intellectually, I can tell you how thoroughly I understand that I'm not perfect, with my own limitations that are balanced by my strengths. I can go on about how disappointment doesn't necessarily imply anything about my essence and how my failures made me stronger, adding that I've found meaning in them (like when I write about them). I know that I'm supposed to say these things and, even deeper, believe them."
"I know that my sensitivity isn't anyone else's responsibility, and I'm certain that others would and even should, if I'm honest, chuckle at my desire for perfection. All of this is true while, simultaneously, some innate, or seemingly innate, part of me demands it. Often, it feels as though I can't control, reason, or even negotiate with it. Some of my preoccupations with my flaws feel legitimate, like my"
"While this makes me a capable writer, as I can make various connections between distinct ideas, it makes me significantly struggle as a speaker. I speak fast, I stumble on my words as my words try to catch up to my thoughts, I sometimes can't find the right words, and I impulsively create new and interesting (but mostly only to me) associations while speaking. So, my listener is frequently lost, feeling as though they've been hit with a tidal wave."
The individual experiences intense perfectionistic demands that coexist with intellectual acceptance of limits, producing internal conflict that feels uncontrollable. Perfectionism intensifies during presentations and in areas of perceived competence. Co-occurring obsessive-compulsive disorder and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder cause rapid, racing thoughts that translate into equally rapid speech, frequent word-finding difficulties, stumbles, and impulsive associative leaps. The combination enhances expressive associative thinking but undermines oral communication, leaving listeners confused or overwhelmed. Repeated negative feedback to slow down, rehearse, or focus often fails to resolve the underlying compulsion to be flawless. Sensitivity and desire for perfection persist despite conscious understanding and self-compassion.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]