"One of comedian Micky Flanagan's most popular stand-up routines describes him coming home after a night out with a friend. His partner asks how the friends' wife was and was shocked that Micky hadn't enquired after her. "You didn't ask him how Sue was?" she said incredulously, to which Micky replied, "Are you joking? I didn't even ask him how he was!" The punchline was consistently met with big laughs from the audience"
"at the different types of relationships that men and women have with their friends. But does the premise of Flanagan's joke hold true? Are men really less likely than women to have in-depth, personal conversations with their friends? The research overwhelmingly says yes. Trinh and Choukas-Bradley (2018) explored the communication styles of male and female peer groups and found that males are typically more"
"constrained by social norms in terms of what they do and don't talk about. Acceptable subjects for discussion include females' appearances, sexual behaviour, and sharing jokes, including mercilessly taking the mick out of each other. Trinh and Choukas-Bradley found that this behaviour works to affirm masculinity, elevates the status of those within the peer group, and strengthens the bonds between male friends. All good things, right? But where in this relationship is the incentive for men"
Men are often more constrained by social norms about what they do and do not talk about with each other. Male peer groups commonly focus on topics like women's appearances, sexual behaviour, and joking, including teasing and ribbing. Those interaction patterns affirm masculinity, elevate status within the group, and strengthen bonds between male friends. The same patterns reduce opportunities and incentives for men to have in-depth, personal conversations or to actively look out for each other's mental health. High-profile male suicides prompt online messages urging men to check in with mates. Advice to check in is common, but specific guidance on how to do so is rarely provided.
Read at Psychology Today
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