"But when you ask for advice? Harvard Business School researchers found that compared to asking for feedback, asking for advice resulted in respondents providing 34 percent more areas of improvement, and 56 percent more ways to improve. In short, emotionally intelligent people realize that asking another person to provide feedback (saying, "How did I do?") puts them on the spot. On the other hand, asking another person for advice (saying, "What can (or should) I do?") is flattering."
"Say you're okay with getting feedback, even when it's critical. (Plenty of people who claim they do, really don't.) You may even enjoy getting critical feedback. But that doesn't mean other people like to give you the feedback you need. Research shows when feedback is requested rather than volunteered, it tends to be too vague. Too fluffy. Too, "I don't want to hurt your feelings so I'll just be nice," to be of any real value."
Emotional intelligence enhances success by improving understanding and management of personal and others' emotions. Asking for advice yields 34 percent more areas of improvement and 56 percent more ways to improve compared with asking for feedback. Requesting advice flatters recipients, signals respect for their knowledge and experience, and encourages specific, actionable guidance. Asking for feedback often produces vague, overly kind responses that lack utility. Many people dislike receiving negative feedback and frequently fail to retain or act on unsolicited constructive criticism. Framing requests as advice increases useful input while making others feel valued and willing to help.
Read at Fast Company
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