If you grew up during the era of "children should be seen and not heard" you probably display these 8 behaviors as an adult - Silicon Canals

"Growing up, I learned early that speaking up at the dinner table wasn't welcome. My thoughts and opinions? They could wait until I was older, more "qualified" to join adult conversations. The message was clear: your voice doesn't matter yet. Just smile, be polite, and keep your feelings to yourself. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Millions of us grew up in households where "children should be seen and not heard" wasn't just a saying -"

"it was the unspoken rule governing every family gathering, every attempt at self-expression, every moment we dared to have an opinion. Now, as adults, we carry these lessons with us in ways we might not even realize. The programming runs deep, shaping how we navigate relationships, handle conflict, and view our own worth. After years of observing these patterns in myself and others who share this background, I've noticed eight distinct behaviors that tend to emerge."

Growing up in families that silenced children's opinions conditions people to suppress self-expression and prioritize politeness over authenticity. That conditioning solidifies into internal programming that shapes relationships, conflict responses, and self-esteem. Over time, specific behaviors develop as adaptive survival strategies, including excessive apologizing even when not at fault. Such behaviors erode confidence and credibility and continue automatically because they were reinforced during formative years. Awareness of these patterned responses enables identification of repeated habits and opens the possibility of intentional change. Recognizing distinct behaviors offers practical starting points for unlearning maladaptive responses and practicing assertive communication and boundary-setting.

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