If toxic humility is a thing, I definitely have it. But perhaps there's another way | Emma Beddington

"What's your favourite thing about yourself? Stylist's Love Yourself campaign asked over 400 women that, and published eight pages of their answers. People mostly picked low-key, quite specific stuff I can cook something out of nothing; I'm really strong; I can talk to anyone; I've got an excellent bum and it was lovely, and touching, to see women affirm what they like about themselves."

"I feel something similar when I see people online expressing uncomplicated, justified pride in their achievements or liking who they are out loud it's a sort of is that allowed? feeling, like the rules have changed and no one told me. If toxic humility is a thing, I definitely have it, because I get a masochistic buzz from self-deprecation, especially when it provokes someone into contradicting me."

Over 400 women named small, specific things they like about themselves, such as cooking from nothing, physical strength, sociability and body features. Many responses were low-key and affectionate rather than grandiose. Expressing a compliment about oneself often provoked discomfort or a 'squirm' response. Uncomplicated pride can feel transgressive because cultural norms and conditioning prize humility and stigmatise visible self-regard. Some people cultivate self-deprecation and even relish being contradicted. Inner self-criticism can coexist with an underlying belief in self-worth. Examples of cultural influences include the law of Jante, Ireland's disdain for 'notions', and British antipathy to being 'full of yourself.'

Read at www.theguardian.com