"People with borderline personality disorder often have difficulty creating a structured, adult container for their life. Instead of developing and sticking to a daily schedule for predictable reoccurring events-like going to bed at a reasonable time given when they must get up in the morning-they tend to prioritize whatever feels good in the moment. For example, my client Sara told me in her session that she needed to get to sleep early because she has an important meeting the next day."
"But next session I found out that she never got to the meeting because she felt so lonely she went to a bar looking for love. She settled for a night filled with drugs and sex. She woke up late and decided to skip work because she had already missed the meeting. The promise of love was more important to her than the possibility of losing her job."
"James F. Masterson (1926-2010), the well-known expert in borderline personality disorder and the author of many books on this topic, used to say that the worst thing that could happen in the therapy of someone with BPD was if they fell in love. All therapy progress would stop because all they will want to think about is their new romance and they have not yet developed enough self-discipline to stay focused on anything less pleasant (1976)."
People with borderline personality disorder commonly struggle to establish stable, adult daily routines and instead prioritize immediate feelings. External, predictable structure such as regular meal and sleep times provides a calming effect and reduces emotional reactivity. Lack of routine can lead to impulsive choices — seeking romantic connection, substance use, or sexual encounters — that disrupt responsibilities and work. Intense focus on romance can derail therapeutic progress because of insufficient self-discipline to attend to less pleasurable but necessary tasks. Implementing predictable routines and reducing spontaneity can help manage painful past feelings and support more productive coping and functioning.
Read at Psychology Today
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