"I am worried for your safety," said my soon-to-be therapist during our 2016 intake consultation. I thought she was overreacting. I thought my then-husband would never hurt me - but he did well before ever lifting a finger. The final time that I fled the house, I sought refuge at a nearby friend's home."
"Someone asked shortly after I learned of this tragedy, "How could you grieve someone you hated?" I didn't hate him. I feared him. Luckily, I now can remember the good times, the love that we once shared - and I work tirelessly to avoid letting the abuse define me."
"It's an unfortunate reality that survivors often have to start over again. I ended up having to sell the home we lived in (because banks weren't willing to finance my buy-out of his portion of the settlement), which was devastating at first. But anything that I had dreamed of about that place was tainted by the abuse, never to be remedied."
A woman describes her experience escaping domestic abuse from her ex-husband, whom she initially believed would never hurt her despite her therapist's safety concerns. After fleeing and his arrest, their divorce finalized in 2019. Years later in 2023, her ex-husband died by suicide, creating complicated grief. She clarifies she feared rather than hated him, and now works to remember positive moments while preventing abuse from defining her identity. Recovery required significant effort including selling their home due to financing complications and relocating to her hometown near her parents. With therapeutic support and a strong family network, she has rebuilt her life and found healing.
#domestic-violence-survival #grief-and-loss #trauma-recovery #mental-health-support #rebuilding-after-abuse
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