"It seems everyone, in one way or another, feels aggravated and damaged by it. I find this concerning. That's why I keep explaining that not every painful experience is or becomes a traumatic wound. Knowing how deep a wound goes-and what that implies for care-can spare people unnecessary labels and distress, help clinicians choose appropriate interventions, and free those who suffer from being defined solely by their pain."
"Imagine three scenarios: a small scratch on the skin, a broken bone, and a healed scar. The scratch stings for a while but quickly closes and fades; the fracture requires realignment, immobilization, and specific care to heal properly; the scar, though-it's not a wound but a reminder that something happened. It may itch from time to time, but it doesn't create dysfunction in most cases."
Emotional suffering exists on a spectrum from brief stings to deep, system-wide injuries. Relational wounds such as heartbreak and betrayal reshape emotional scripts differently than neglect. When the nervous system becomes overwhelmed, repeatedly triggered, or left without repair, the result can mirror an untreated fracture requiring specialized care. Measuring wound depth guides appropriate interventions, prevents unnecessary labeling, and supports recovery through processing unresolved emotions and relocating memories. Resolution involves both nervous system regulation and integrating memories so they no longer drive maladaptive responses.
Read at Psychology Today
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