College relationships strongly influence mental and physical health, meaning, belonging, and longevity, yet many students struggle to form close connections. Homesickness, self-doubt, and anxiety can trigger withdrawal just when reaching out is most necessary. Building meaningful friendships requires openness, nonjudgment, patience, shared experiences, and repeated effort over time. Trying different strategies and consistently showing up increases opportunities to connect. Joining groups, attending places where peers gather, and staying engaged help students become more comfortable connecting and foster a supportive community, even though not every acquaintance will become a close friend.
No one needs a Ph.D. in psychology to know that good relationships are important, but there is a ton of research that shows how essential good relationships are to mental health and even to physical health and longevity. Studies show that life feels more meaningful when we are connected and feel we belong. We are hardwired for bonding, yet it can be hard to connect in meaningful ways, which is something many students struggle with in college.
Be Open and Nonjudgmental In order to create a new community of friends at college, it's often necessary to go outside of one's comfort zone. Be open to new situations, and don't judge if it takes a long time to make new friends. Making deep, intimate connections with new people takes time and shared experience. Know that what feels hard at first will get easier. Be patient.
Keep Making the Effort Not everyone we meet will become a good friend. Try new strategies and situations, and keep putting in the time and energy to form new friendships. When we keep going out, showing up, and making ourselves available, we become more comfortable connecting with others. Go Where the People Are It's great when students find themselves in a ready-made group, like a sports team, an amazing class, or that lucky dorm floor.
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