I have tried to walk away many times, but I always go back. I don't blame him, but I am very hurt by the deceptions. I have been hospitalized for depression three times since I've been with him.
You are stuck in a self-defeating cycle that isn't going to change. In my book, this married man is a demon. He is an awful person with no conscience. Seeing the effect this affair has had on you (three hospitalizations for depression!?), if he had any conscience at all, he would have ended it. If you don't have a licensed mental health professional to talk with to help you disentangle yourself permanently from this destructive cycle, please ask for a referral to one now, before you have to be hospitalized again.
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