"Most people think of narcissistic behavior as loud, extroverted, flashy, and brash, which often identifies a more grandiose narcissist. However, there is a quieter form of narcissism that can go unnoticed, especially when paired with a mundane life. What few recognize is that a vulnerable ("covert") narcissist can be unpredictable, domineering, or erratic when there has been a threat to their self-worth or their need for validation."
"When a covert narcissist is well-supplied, they can appear outwardly content. When feeling self-inflated, they often display an active public presence, including flaunting social status or regular social media updates that showcase their achievements, hobbies, or romantic partners. To an outsider, their mask looks authentic and believable. However, when they experience interpersonal dysfunction, or their primary supply source is not providing them the reinforcement and validation they seek, this can trigger a series of decompensating behaviors."
Covert narcissists rely on external validation or "supply" to sustain a fragile self-identity. When well-supplied they can appear content and maintain an active public persona, sometimes flaunting status or social updates. Loss, exposure, boredom, or failing supply can precipitate a rapid collapse in which their outward mask deteriorates. Collapse often produces retreat into internal fantasy, distrust, abandonment terror, and unpredictable, domineering behaviors. Close relationships may encounter manipulation, sadistic control, obsession, or indirect deniable signals aimed at reasserting dominance. Covert withdrawal can manifest as disappearing from public life and stopping selfies, lifestyle updates, or posts.
Read at Psychology Today
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