Change or Die

"Humans have an innate drive to improve situations and experiences as they occur. We function at our best when trying to make situations and experiences more beneficial, convenient, productive, or peaceful. But we're not so good at making long-term changes. I know that my clients are ready for successful termination of therapy when they think about making and sustaining long-term changes for the better."

"It's no accident that when they begin therapy, they seem focused on changing the past, beyond the stereotype of psychotherapy that it's focused on events of the past. I've had dozens of clients who began our first session together by waxing eloquently about all the events in the past that created the problems they now suffer from, but can't seem to change."

Humans naturally seek to improve immediate situations and experiences but often struggle with sustaining long-term change. People frequently focus on changing unalterable past events and formative influences. Past circumstances like parents, childhood conditions, and environments could not be chosen, yet individuals retain control over the meanings they assign to those experiences. Selecting plausible, life-enhancing meanings—rather than retreating into fantasy—can improve functioning. Repeated practice alters neural pathways, and clarifying what one wants to contribute to the world serves as an effective guide for maintaining long-term change.

Read at Psychology Today