Are You Feeling Unappreciated?

"During the past 45 years in my psychotherapy office, I've heard countless people lament how unappreciated they feel. Humans thrive when we feel genuinely valued. Those who claim not to need validation may actually pursue it in indirect, less-than-effective ways-struggling to gain people's respect and admiration through power, wealth, or status. Such "achievements" may offer a bounty of empty calories, temporarily inflating the ego without truly satisfying the deeper longing to be appreciated for who we really are."

"We might reasonably question whether the desire for appreciation is a fool's errand-launching us on a search for something we have no control over. It's a legitimate concern. As Buddhist psychology suggests, the effort to reach for something outside of ourselves to fill an inner void is a setup for suffering. Having said that, it's hard to deny that something in us perks up and feels enlivened in a unique way when we're seen and valued."

"Appreciation isn't something we desperately need to survive, yet the sense of human connectedness it affords can satisfy a deep yearning to thrive. People might express appreciation as they notice various things about us: Recognition of a kind act Noticing the love and caring we offer in our personal lives Gratitude for our chosen work that makes a difference Noting and valuing features of our personality that have been helpful to them, such as our kindness, generosity, or capacity to listen well"

Longing to feel appreciated constitutes a natural human need tied to connection and validation. People sometimes seek external validation indirectly through power, wealth, or status, experiences that temporarily inflate the ego without satisfying deeper longing for authentic appreciation. Buddhist psychology warns that reaching outside oneself to fill an inner void risks suffering. Genuine appreciation enlivens people by offering connection, affirmation of goodness, deeper seeing, and intimate belonging. Appreciation is not required for survival but supports thriving. Expressions of appreciation include recognizing kind acts, noting love and care, valuing meaningful work, and acknowledging personality strengths. Offering appreciation to others often generates reciprocal appreciation.

Read at Psychology Today