"My truest taste of regret happened when I was just 16. I was a junior in high school and feeling fully overwhelmed by things I had no control over. That feeling came directly from living in a family unraveling at the seams, but I was too young to understand what was happening. My emotions were packaged up tightly, so I grabbed hold of things I did understand, and what I understood more than anything else was swimming."
"I had been a competitive swimmer for almost all of my childhood. I had pushed my way near the top of my high school team, yet I was afraid to be there. I will never quite know if I was afraid of failing, afraid of being good or both. It didn't matter. I wasn't willing to live up to my full potential, and the worst part was that I knew it."
A sixteen-year-old swimmer experienced profound regret tied to family instability and emotional suppression. Competitive swimming occupied most of childhood and led to a near-top position on the high school team, but fear of failing and fear of success prevented full effort. During junior year the swimmer intentionally underperformed, inventing ailments and even wishing for injury to avoid practice. Persistent low self-worth made trusting personal effort impossible. The swimmer recognized the self-sabotage only later, when it was too late to recover lost potential and the decision became a lasting burden.
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