"C.S. Lewis once wrote, "I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief." I love that quote because it gets at the heart of how complex feelings can be during a divorce. People process their feelings in different ways, and it's important to find what works for you. Here are six steps for processing that may help you identify, accept, and let go of your emotions."
"2. Label your feelings. Get specific about how you're feeling. Are you sad, lonely, or devastated? Frustrated, irritable, resentful, angry, or enraged? Each feeling word has a different meaning. It's useful to get specific about your emotions as that can guide how you choose to act on them. For example, if you're feeling frustrated about a text you received from your ex, you might decide to call a friend to vent or write about it in your journal."
Divorce commonly provokes a mix of painful and complex emotions that deserve validation. Individuals are advised to recognize and label specific feelings to differentiate emotions from thoughts. Acceptance of emotional waves without criticizing or minimizing them supports healing. Practical responses vary: venting to friends, journaling, intense exercise, crying, or screaming can channel emotions constructively. Identifying tailored self-soothing strategies helps manage anxiety, grief, anger, and loneliness. Distinguishing feelings from catastrophic thoughts informs healthier actions and decision-making. Getting specific about emotions (e.g., frustrated, enraged, lonely) guides choice of coping actions. Simple examples include calling a friend to vent over frustration or channeling rage into vigorous physical activity.
Read at Psychology Today
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