"After decades of working with people going through divorce, I've noticed that the holidays are when many unintentionally make things harder for themselves. They say yes to invitations when they desperately want to say no. They spend time with toxic relatives out of guilt or habit. And instead of taking simple actions that would help them feel stronger or calmer, they freeze and hope the season will just "be over soon.""
"Whether it's a therapist, coach, clergy member, or trusted friend, don't hold everything inside. Talking helps process your pain out of your mind and body. It's like a release valve that helps you let off steam. Note that if you talk to one person too much, or you talk to too many people, this tool may start to feel ineffective."
The holidays emphasize togetherness and family, making this season particularly difficult for people experiencing divorce. Many unintentionally make things harder by saying yes to invitations they want to decline, spending time with toxic relatives from guilt or habit, or freezing instead of taking simple calming actions. Responses range from relief to deep mourning for the loss of the nuclear family or close in-law ties. Shared custody can amplify sadness when parenting time falls on different holiday days. Practical, low-cost strategies can significantly improve coping during the season; early recommendations include talking to a trusted listener and pursuing trauma-informed treatment when needed.
Read at Psychology Today
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