"Pregnancy after loss is full of contradictions. It is hope that feels cautious, like it might dissolve if you breathe too hard. It is learning to live again inside a body that remembers grief. I am now officially in my third trimester, and each day brings small signs of life: a flutter, a roll, a hiccup, the steady rhythm of his heart."
"My husband told me then: She only ever knew love and warmth, and that has never left me. That first pregnancy made me a mother. It changed how I moved through the world, my sense of self, and how I understood love; the kind that expands quietly and invisibly into areas of your heart that you didn't know were there before."
Pregnancy after loss combines cautious anticipation and persistent grief as bodily memory holds both decay and new life. Daily fetal movements and a steady heartbeat bring reassurance while memories of a prior missed miscarriage remain present. The prior pregnancy created a maternal identity through nurturing, love, and physical carrying despite the baby's death at thirteen weeks. The body continued to care for the nonviable fetus until medical intervention and medication induced a difficult, private birthing experience described as labour-like, painful, sacred, and unbearable. The experience created parallel timelines: one interrupted by loss and one continuing toward raising a child.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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