The author, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, reflects on their family's long history within the faith and the spiritual significance of annual trips to Utah. As the youngest of four, they anticipated serving a church mission like their siblings. However, the author's revelation of being gay complicates their participation, as church doctrine requires celibacy for LGBTQ members. This has led to challenges regarding worthiness as they candidly discuss their sexuality and behaviors with church leaders.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints encourages its members to maintain worthiness, which includes remaining celibate if they identify as gay, despite the acceptance of same-gender attraction.
The author describes how family visits to Utah served as spiritual homecomings, reinforcing their identity and connection to the church and its values.
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