"I made it clear from the start that I was strictly vers (I need it all) and that I couldn't be in an exclusive bottom/top relationship long-term. However, for one reason or another, I've only bottomed from the start. It was only once he stated that he was, to my surprise, a vers top and interested in exploring bottoming with me that I even opened up to an emotional relationship with him."
"That conversation was about six months ago, and even though the sex continues to be the best I've ever had (even with me exclusively bottoming), he's only bottomed once and freezes up when I get close to his butt. At this point, it's really starting to mess with my head. While I still easily get swept up in the heat of the moment and I happily bottom, I've barely been able to get into and maintain the headspace (if at all) lately, and have had to bail out of sex in the middle of it a few times now."
A gay man in a new relationship experiences deep connection and exceptional sex but has exclusively bottomed despite identifying as versatile. The partner previously identified as a vers top and expressed interest in bottoming, which enabled emotional intimacy, yet has bottomed only once and freezes when approached for anal play. The imbalance has begun causing anxiety, loss of headspace, and interruptions during sex. The man fears pressuring the partner or issuing ultimatums, acknowledges the partner's right to dislike bottoming, and considers leaving to avoid deeper psychological harm while seeking a gentle way to reopen the conversation.
Read at Slate Magazine
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