"Is it weird to be a 26-year-old virgin? I've never dated or had intimacy with anyone but I'd like to in the future. As a gay person, though, I'm worried that guys are going to think it's weird that I've never done stuff and might not like the fact that I'd also like to really be sure about someone before I take the step of intimacy. Ideally, I'd like to know a guy for at least a year and be in a committed relationship before we're intimate."
""Weird" is not the word that I would use, and I think you should avoid it as well. Unless one is describing out-there music like the avant-pop stylings of Rosalía or FKA twigs, "weird" tends to be pejorative, and I don't see how that would be helpful in describing your sexuality. Not having had sex at 26 and wanting to wait a year after meeting someone to consummate the relationship may be unusual, sure, but that's fine. There isn't a script to follow here, and even if there were, you're queer. As a matter of course, you get to deviate from prescribed norms, which tend to be arbitrary anyway."
A 26-year-old gay man reports never having dated or had sexual intimacy and wants to wait at least a year into a committed relationship before becoming intimate. He worries that queer hookup culture, bars, and dating apps prioritize casual sex and will not respect his desire to move slowly. The response rejects labeling his situation as "weird," affirms that delaying sex at 26 and wanting commitment first is acceptable, and emphasizes that queer people are allowed to deviate from norms. The response also notes that queer communities can form their own orthodoxies, which may make finding a respectful partner more challenging but not impossible.
Read at Slate Magazine
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