"Some years ago, my husband confessed he was gay after I found his secret porn folder on our shared computer. We both came from conservative and religious backgrounds, and I truly believed that our vows meant something. I didn't want a divorce then-but now we are both retired, and I wonder if I do. My husband has had long-term affairs with men while I looked the other way."
"I am lonely. I tried to bring up the idea of me finding a companion of my own because I still have sexual desires, and my husband freaked out. He has needs that I can't essentially fulfill, but I am still his wife. He can't imagine me with another man. I was a stay-at-home mom and a part-time teacher. To be blunt, I can't afford to leave and am terrified of being a burden on my children."
"There were a lot of good years, and my husband never wavered during my two bouts with cancer. I still love him, but part of me resents him for having his cake and leaving me with crumbs. Is there any hope? -Lost and Lonely I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how lonely you feel and how much of a toll keeping your husband's secret has taken on you."
A long marriage concealed the husband's gay orientation and long-term affairs while the couple raised six children and many grandchildren within conservative, religious communities. Retirement transformed the relationship into roommate-level coexistence, exposing the wife's loneliness and unmet sexual needs. The wife fears financial insecurity and being a burden on her children, which deters her from leaving despite emotional betrayal. The husband insists his private life is no one else's business and reacts negatively to the wife's desire for a companion. The wife expresses gratitude for past support during illness but feels resentful and unsure whether to remain.
Read at Slate Magazine
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