""It was the stress of being closeted," he says. "Going in every day and faking who I am for years on end. I'd been saying for years, 'This is making me sick.' And then my body finally proved it.""
""While it felt like everything I'd worked for was finally coming true, at the same time, it felt like an imprisonment - like this was my life now, and I didn't have another option," he said."
""My biggest fear wasn't just people knowing - it was people knowing before I was ready.""
Jake Eldridge knew he was gay from a young age but prioritized football, which pushed other aspects of his identity aside. He was recruited to play in the Big Ten at Rutgers University. Hiding his sexuality during college caused significant stress and harmed his mental health. Speculation from teammates and fears of bullying, scholarship loss, or being barred from play heightened his anxiety. Near the end of his freshman season, he was hospitalized for three days with ulcerative colitis, and doctors attributed the flare to stress related to remaining closeted.
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