"You've been so stressed lately. You need to get out of your head and into your body-so why not try ceramics? This Klutz book comes with some quick-dry clay and instructions on how to make a shitty little ashtray that you can show your friends and say, "Yeah, I really love pottery-I'm thinking of starting a business." Of course, the back pain you experience hunching over your pinch pot will be enough to deter you from ever touching clay again. But, hey, free ($26.99, plus tax and shipping) ashtray!"
"Speaking of back pain, you're in your thirties and suddenly every bone and muscle hurts! You need to learn to stretch. Like actually stretch, not just a half-assed ankle-grab before you "jog." We're talking sitting, reaching, toe-touching-all of it. This book comes with some resistance bands and the back cover is padded, so you have some cushioning for any kneeling exercises. Because your knees also hurt now?"
"Why didn't your parents teach you how to get rid of batteries? This Klutz book includes nonconductive tape to place over the battery terminals, plastic baggies to separate batteries by type, and a handy map of battery-disposal places near you. But beware-the disposal places are often unexpectedly closed for months on end or never existed at all! There's also one large garbage bag to place all the smaller baggies in so you can hide the batteries in the back of an underused cabinet and never think about them again."
Klutz Book of One Day of Pottery includes quick-dry clay and instructions to make a small ashtray, costs $26.99 plus tax and shipping, and warns of back pain from hunching. Klutz Book of Actually Stretching provides resistance bands and a padded back cover for kneeling exercises and teaches full stretching routines beyond cursory warm-ups. Klutz Book of Proper Battery Disposal supplies nonconductive tape, plastic baggies, and a map of disposal locations, plus a large garbage bag for holding smaller bags. Klutz Book of Closet Cleanouts supplies labeled boxes including "Trash," "Donate," and "Try to Sell at Crossroads." Tone mixes practical tools with wry humor.
Read at The New Yorker
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