""A Very Elfish Situationship" "A Child's Christmas in a Waymo" "Dick and Lynne Cheney: The Twentieth Century's Merriest Love Affair" "Hot Cocoa and Human Copulation: An A.I.-Generated Holiday Romance" " 'Twas the Timothée Chalamet Look-Alike Contest Before Christmas" "Let It Cuo, Let It Cuo, Let It Cuo: An Andrew Cuomo Carol" "Two Horndogs Split a Christmas Ham" "I Banged My Holiday Porch Pirate" "I'll Be Blitzed for Christmas" "Joe Rogan Lectures Santa Claus on the Benefits of Nootropics""
""An Outback Steakhouse Gift Card for Jesus" "Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid Reminisce About 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation' While the Other Cast Members Politely Keep Their Distance" "The Rockefeller Center February Christmas-Tree-Mulching Ceremony" "Sabrina Carpenter Sings Hymns in Ways You Didn't Know Could Be This Horny" "Digital Chocolate Coins for Hanukkah" "A Very Idaho Ramadan" "Moonlight and Cameltoe" "Steve Guttenberg Plays Something or Other-Even He Doesn't Know""
A series of provocative holiday-themed headlines mixes crude sexual humor, political lampooning, and pop-culture references. Recurring targets include politicians, celebrities, consumer traditions, and religious observances reframed through absurd or scandalous premises. The tone shifts between surreal, grotesque, and darkly comic, emphasizing juxtapositions of nostalgia with contemporary controversies. Several items imagine improbable scenarios—A.I.-generated romance, illicit encounters with porch thieves, or celebrity look-alike contests—to maximize shock and satirical bite. The collection foregrounds topicality and cultural collision, using holiday motifs as a vehicle for caustic, boundary-pushing humor.
Read at The New Yorker
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