"Compared to previous incarnations, 2025's jerseys are a slightly more sober affair. There are three. The Artifact Sweater features a selection of Microsoft's Ghosts of Christmas Past, from the Internet Explorer and MSN logos through the strangely retro-cool Clippy assistant, and what looks a lot like a Minecraft Creeper. There's one celebrating the Zune, and another for Xbox. We got our talons on the Artifact Sweater with its multitude of icons."
"It's almost like someone asked Copilot to spray a sweater with iconography, though if that were true, the result would probably also lack a head hole and sport three arms. While the packaging has lost the retro-cheese of the XP-themed sweater of yesteryear, this XL-sized garment is sealed and ready to put the family off their Christmas meal. Want one, and have a UK address for us to send it to?"
Microsoft released a set of 2025 Ugly Sweaters, presented in three designs: the Artifact Sweater, a Zune-themed jersey, and an Xbox sweater. The Artifact Sweater displays legacy icons such as the Internet Explorer and MSN logos, Clippy, and a Minecraft-like Creeper. The garment's packaging is sealed and sized XL, intended as a festive gag. A UK-only giveaway invites readers to answer when Microsoft reached its peak, citing candidates from BASIC in the 1970s to Ballmer's 2000 'Developers, developers...' performance. A Dickensian metaphor suggests Satya Nadella might face ghosts of Microsoft's past, present, and an AI-marked future.
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