'Until the 1950s, camemberts had grey, green, and orangey mould, apparently (I feel a bit queasy thinking about it), but the food industry wanted camembert white and velvety. If I understand correctly, the albino bacteria it selected aren't able to reproduce with other strains. Now, mutations mean the bacteria are also losing the ability to reproduce asexually, putting the whole stinking enterprise at risk.'
'Why isn't Paris burning? I don't care, really I hate camembert, always have, and will happily dance on its grave (in full PPE) but the news landed hard with my Norman husband. Camembert is a religion there: his grandparents ate it for breakfast, dipped in their morning coffee; le claquos (its pet name) reigns over every family meal. Exiled from the real stuff here in the UK, he pokes supermarket camemberts gloomily, judging its maturity and odour and invariably finding it wanting. Faced with this news, he ran a full Kubler-Ross scale, from denial C'est fake news, camembert cannot die to depression: It's the end of the world.'
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