"The mashed potatoes might be lukewarm once they hit the table, but the opinions shared on and about Thanksgiving are never short of piping hot. We asked the people most moved by the holiday recipe developers, food writers, chefs and other tastemakers for their most enlightened and provocative takes, whether on the familial faux pas or the dishes that make the meal. Pick your sides below, and at your own feast while you're at it."
"Not everyone at Thanksgiving is created equal. The host runs the show, the kitchen helpers get promoted to co-hosts and everyone else is just a guest. If you're in that last category, your only job is to be useful: Bring a great bottle, tell a great story, keep the energy up. Showing up with nothing but silence is worse than forgetting dessert."
"Don't come out of the closet on Thanksgiving. Wait until Christmas or winter break. Your cousin's new girlfriend is your ally. Getting the whole family together can be stressful. Find the guest who knows the least about the dynamics and politics and drama of the people gathered around the table, and get her on your side quick. You'll need her support when things go down by dessert."
Thanksgiving often features confrontational opinions and requires hosting strategies to keep the meal manageable. Hosts run the show while kitchen helpers become co-hosts and other guests should contribute by bringing a good bottle, telling stories, and maintaining energy. Inviting a wide array of people can make the gathering interesting. Sensitive personal disclosures are best postponed until less charged family occasions. Recruit neutral or newly acquainted guests as allies to defuse tensions. Name tags reduce awkward identification moments. Accept entrenched beliefs without attempting to change them during the meal and avoid political conversations; provide accommodations, like an ashtray, to minimize confrontations.
Read at www.nytimes.com
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