The Ballad Of Wallis Island scored 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. The actor jokes about hurling 96 rotten tomatoes, proposing allocations including 40 for Hitler, ten kept, ten eaten, and virtual tomatoes on Zoom. Thirty-six remaining tomatoes are said to go down a garbage chute. The actor recounts a rude eviction in Edinburgh four years ago, losing most belongings including a prized radio and finding a toilet roll holder in the lounge. A nurse last addressed him as Timothy. A shortest poem offered reads, 'Tanya Googled herself. Still nothing.' The actor will star in The Paper and says he would make the Guardian bigger with the cryptic crossword on the back page.
Who would you most like to hurl 96 rotten tomatoes at? Do I have to hurl them at the same person, or can I split them? Can they be living or dead? Let's take 40 to hurl at Hitler. I wouldn't mind keeping 10 back just in case I need to hurl them at a random person. That leaves 46. How rotten are they? Maybe I'll eat 10, which leaves 36.
Is there anyone I can help you with? Plenty. Although we're on Zoom, so I'd need my rotten tomatoes to be virtual. Well, I'm your man. I can go round if you like. Else I think I've done everything I need to. The other 36 go down the garbage chute, I'm afraid. In Peep Show, your character was thrown in a lift in your sleeping bag and water-boarded by Mark, Jez and Super Hans.
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